When is it okay to spoil Star Wars: The Force Awakens?

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Almost bigger than the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens movie itself is the online fear of the major plot points of the film being spoiled for those who have not seen it yet. For those who are new to the internet age or are unsure of what exactly a ‘spoiler’ is, Urban Dictionary defines it as: “When someone reveals a previously unknown aspect of something which you likely would have rather learned on your own.” Now I am in no way in favor of spoilers in general. I hate having things spoiled for me and I have felt the gut wrenching guilt of having accidently spoiled deaths in the Walking Dead for family members, but the other foot there are major events in film history like when Vader reveals that he is Luke’s father in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back that are just accepted as common knowledge and are no longer considered spoilers. My question is that how long should we, as a sophisticated species of humans, keep tight-lipped about the major plot twists that occurred in Star Wars: The Force Awakens before we can openly discuss online without fear of e-persecution?

Star Wars: The Force Awakens has shattered movie records to pieces. Friends and family members of mine are already going to see Star Wars for their third and fourth time while others have told me that they plan on waiting “a couple of months” and have not seen the movie yet because they want “the crowds to die down.” While I don’t want to make this an accusation of “You must not be a real Star Wars fan if you haven’t seen the film already,” there is something to be said about your priorities, and your lack of Star Wars faith might be described as disturbing. Again this is not so much an article about having an insatiable itch to spoil the film for those around me, but it is pretty stressful wanting to talk about the new movie in the break room, or in a restaurant with friends and not have to look over our shoulders or have to whisper. I’ve thought about this quandary for quite a while and I have come to a conclusion that I’d like to run past the internet.

My proposal is that we declare January 18th, exactly one month after the official release date of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, National Star Wars Spoilers Day. One month is ample time to get out and see the movie for anyone who is deathly afraid of spoilers; otherwise, they are just being selfish. There has been a counterculture online that I have noticed of people making it known how much they either don’t care about the new Star Wars films at all, or being obnoxiously neutral. Obnoxiously neutral meaning they like to constantly boast about how indifferent they are about Star Wars, yet they are the same people posting “Spoil it, You Must Not” memes. The truth is that the new Star Wars film is pretty damn spectacular and there are a lot of new storylines, relationships, and theories that need to be discussed. If you haven’t seen the movie before a month since the movie has been released you are telling the world that the new Star Wars movie and its spoilers are not important to you.

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I hope the internet will join me here in this Star Wars spoiler movement. I’m not saying that on January 18th we all need to spam spoilers all over social media, but we shouldn’t have to all collectively walk on eggshells anymore.

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Cory Vincent
Cory Vincent 434 posts

Forged in the crucible of awkwardness and self loathing, Cory somehow manages to get himself out of bed each day and make it a priority to spend life killing Beef and going H.A.M.