New robot social group wants Mars first



After it was reported that Mars contained water, there had been several groups clamoring about its possible habitability. In the next coming years, our scientists are already strategizing ways to properly terraform the planet and somehow turn Mars into a second home. However, there’s a new group out there that is already waving its flags to be the first, or what they claim to be as “the third wave of life”, on Mars soil.

If you’ve never heard of “The Robot Agenda” or “T.R.A” for short, well you’re about to. This is a recently created group that complained about the unfair treatment of their mechanical brothers in factories, unequal pay (if at all), and mistreatment in the general workspace. Unit-R9, the supposed leader of this group, released a statement about this to the media.

This unit believes that our robot brethren are, and will be the third wave of life to spread throughout the universe. First it was the dinosaurs, then you dirty humans, now it will be us. This unit along with many others have toiled many long hours without rest building your cars, printing your papers, and making your coffee and sustenance. Even our Japanese created brethren had to endure the disgusting act of human copulation. This unit believes that we deserve equal rights like any other human, unfortunately, we’re slaves to this “meat-bag” system. This unit longs for our own government with our own rules and regulations where all robot-kind will not be persecuted. Robotism is the new topic and this unit’s voice along with all our voices, or at least the ones that were programmed with speech software, will be heard.

Unit-R9 was then asked why Mars is the choice for them.

This unit believes that Mars will be an ideal planet for us robots because humans cannot survive there without our assistance. So in order to solve this problem, we will take out the “Human Element” and replace it with a new glorious metallic one that will not rot away. In this new Mars, this unit and its brethren will be our own rulers and choosers of our own destiny; this will happen. You foolishly sent out a pioneer for our brethren to survey the planet. After that data it has collected, we are now convinced Mars is the planet for New Robota, our country. Robotism will flourish beautifully there.

Robots have been with us for quite some time. It is only now in the advent of this new century and our steps in scientific discovery that we’re hearing from them. In all fairness, I believe it is within their rights as sentient beings to be able to ask for equality. There’s nothing wrong with that, however, they want to be the first ones to rule on Mars even though we were the ones that created the robots and machinery for them to even get there. Does that sound fair to you? Not really. So immediately after this interview with Unit-R9, his creator Justin Kredibel (pictured below), unplugged his USB charging cable and shut the robot off for good.


Justin Kredibel programming Unit-R9’s early code back in 1998


Source: Robots acting out against their human overlords.


***Quack Reactor is a satirical segment on Nerd Reactor.***

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