Invader Zim’s Jhonen Vasquez rips apart Prometheus

It seems like much of the nerd community is still wondering what to make of Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. While many hoped it would help bring closure to many of the questions left unanswered throughout the Alien trilogy, the film did the opposite and opened a dozen more. The film is still doing well, ranking in over $260 million worldwide and is currently sitting in 4th place at the box office.

Recently, Invader Zim and JTHM creator, Jhonen Vasquez, chatted with Gir voice actor, Rosearik Rikki Simons, about their disappointment over the highly anticipated sci-fi blockbuster.

 Warning: THIS DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS

Jhonen Vasquez: Thing is, I don’t even really need hardcore science, but the BEHAVIOR has to make sense on a relatable, human level. The behavior in the movie was all script, but had no basis on what people are actually like. That’s what kept killing me throughout the movie.

Rosearik Rikki Simons: I generally liked Elizabeth, but she had shitty, shitty taste in boyfriends.

Jhonen Vasquez: WHAT?? YOU JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A SQUID MONSTER! Maybe tell someone??!  anyone…? That scene is great, but it’s great as an isolated scene, not as a moment that makes sense or connects to ANYTHING else.

Jhonen Vasquez: When the crew goes out with Weyland, are they all just assuming he is a ghost? Nobody seems interested in him…being a ghost. The trouble with an extended cut is that the movie doesn’t need MORE things cleared up, it needs less things TO clear up. It’s not an intelligent movie that was chopped up. It’s a dumb movie that keeps telling you how deep it is.

During his rant, Jhonen does reveal his favorite part of the movie. Well, at least the part that he thought was the most hilarious.

Jhonen Vasquez: You know what I thought was the funniest stupid thing? The zombie guy that apparently walked like a crab all the way to the ship. Why did he walk like a crab and then just move like a person after that?

Rosearik Rikki Simons: Yeah!

Jhonen Vasquez: He just waits there for who knows how long going “Man are they gonna freak when they see me looking like a crab.”

Rosearik Rikki Simons: He fell face first into the crab DNA.

While the two didn’t hold back on bashing the long-awaited fanboy’s wet dream, they also have a theory on what Prometheus was really about? Gumbo!

Jhonen Vasquez: I guess…So humans made xenos, but why was there a xeno mural in the ship? or pterodactyls, by the looks of the alien in that movie.

Rosearik Rikki Simons: That’s the final product the Engineers are going for? But they don’t know the right combo yet to get there?

Jhonen Vasquez: but the humans are 100% of the engineer DNA. What’s so special about humans making that xeno? My god..I think it’s all bullshit! There was some stuff about the way the black goo interacts with humans being evil, I guess. So they say in interviews.

Rosearik Rikki Simons: It’s like they have all these ingredients but they don’t know how to make gumbo. They know they want gumbo. But they keep shaking the ingredients bag. There it is, they made a statue of gumbo and put it on the wall. They sure hope they can get gumbo. ::shakeshakeshake::

Jhonen Vasquez: That would have been a fine conversation in the movie. Complete with gumbo analogy.

Rosearik Rikki Simons: ha! David explains it to everyone.

Jhonen Vasquez: The whole time he’s just sneering and hoping his analogy is stupid enough for that particular crew.

Rosearik Rikki Simons: He has oven mitts on and is making gumbo, illustrating it for them.

Jhonen Vasquez: Oh my god that’s already better than anything in the actual script.

Rosearik Rikki Simons: One scientist pets the gumbo.

Jhonen Vasquez: Another one proclaims the gumbo to be breathable and dunks his head into the pot, promptly drowning and burning to death.

Rosearik Rikki Simons: Weyland wakes up, takes a bowl of gumbo back to his chamber and no one ever says anything.

Jhonen Vasquez: It turns out this was the only way to get David to make his famous gumbo.

Jhonen Vasquez: Weyland is victorious.

Rosearik Rikki Simons: Roll credits.

Prometheus is currently in theaters everywhere.



Source: Tumblr

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Mike Villarreal
Mike Villarreal 1362 posts

Mike once killed a man with a plastic butter knife. True story. #ViolentGentlemen

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