First look at Genital Jousting (PC)

Click on this image, trust me!

Did you just do a double-take when reading the headline? Well, you’re not aloneDeveloped by Free Lives, Genital Jousting is that crude, locker room humor that you grew up with when you were a teenager but thrown into a playable game. It takes the element most men joke about all day, penis humor, and quite literally has you controlling a penis that has a butthole. This humor isn’t about just being crude; it takes sword fighting to a whole new level.

In Genital Jousting, you control a penis in several different mini games. For starters, one of the objectives is to penetrate the other player’s butthole to gain points. It’s not as disturbing as it sounds, and it garners a few laughs when you see two penises locked in each other’s butts. That’s really the gist of Genital Jousting, but it shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Although a mechanic is to just stick your penis in someone’s butt, that can be used as strategy depending on the mini-game. If it’s a race, you can slightly control the other player if you’re locked in him. If it’s a wrestling match, lock into the other’s butt and swing them out of the ring. Keep in mind, any open hole is open to penetration and can eventually garner a string of penises.

Since the game matches are short, you can either do a quick round of 5 or a constant rotation until a goal line is reached, depending on how long your penis grows. That’s right, your penis will grow the more points it gets, and it can be used to your advantage depending on the match. So far it’s shaping up to be quite the humorous game, and if you’re into penis jokes and crude humor, then this is for you. It’s got sword fighting, butt humping action and plenty of flaccid penises. They also decided to throw in some liquid action as your penis crawls across the stage. It’s definitely not for everyone, but those who do get it will get a chuckle out of it.

Genital Jousting is in Early Access on Steam

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Joe Gonzalez
Joe Gonzalez 286 posts

Gamer since '86, well knowledgeable in movies and games, and semi tech savvy. Graphic artist and t-shirt printer for over 10 years.