AVGN II: ASSimiliation review

So, you fancy yourself a pretty good platformer veteran, do you? Or maybe you’re just a fan of the Angry Video Game Nerd? Or maybe you just like [extremely long string of expletives] and that’s the only way you can sleep at night. Whatever the case may be, you should take that $15 you were going to spend on a meal at a fast food joint or DLC pack that only gives you about 2 hours worth of mild boredom and spend it on something much more worthwhile and satisfying, like the sequel to the AVGN game, AVGN II: ASSimiliation!

avgn 2 banner

You think I was kidding? GO BUY IT! NOW!

Story

Right out of the box (or fresh install if you will), it’s pretty much like every old school NES game you’ve ever picked up: You have to save the world after it gets zapped by some beam from space and collect a number of things to form the “Sexforce”. It’s like the Triforce, only with 6 pieces, so you know, better. You have several different areas to choose from in a Super Mario Bros. 3 type of map like Nerd Gaiden which is like a futuristic Tokyo setting, Monster Madness which basically pits you against bats, disappearing platforms and a hockey clad behemoth wielding a chainsaw, but mostly bats, or Board James, which is a mixture of board games and platforming. It’s a simple story but hilariously written, but then I’m the kind of guy who enjoys crude humor that AVGN provides.

Ah, the '80's, where this was damn near EVERY plot.

Ah, the ’80’s, where this was damn near EVERY plot.

Gameplay & Controls

This is a game that implores you to have a controller. As much as I love to play platformers with a keyboard, you need gamepad buttons for all of the shooting, punching and drinking you’re going to be doing with this game. And I’m not just talking about the things you’re going to do to unleash your frustration at how difficult this game is, but you’ll also need the precision in order to get every health restoring beer, fire every shot and get every new powerup available. Speaking of those new powerups, they really come in handy (if you can find them) like the loafers you get in the beginning that give you the Megaman-style wall climb/jump ability, the Power Glove which lets you punch enemies into piles of oblivion and guts, or the SuperPad that lets you charge your shorts for a more powerful blast!

The controls work really well with the only criticism being that it feels like AVGN is floating around more so than actually walking and running and at times can feel like he’s slipping around like he’s on ice, but overall the controls are relatively smooth and you’ll get the hang of how he moves the more you play. You also get 4 modes of difficulty ranging from Easy to Hard as Balls. Not even joking about that, see for yourself:

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And by “Weak Beers” we assume it’s something terrible like Bud Light Lime.

Soundtrack

As with a lot of 8/16 bit games that have been coming out, this game has a fun, if a little repetitive, soundtrack that doesn’t sound harsh to the ears or make you envy the deaf by having it riddled with something obnoxious like a cover song for an already garbage pop song. And if music isn’t your thing you could always just turn it off in the options menu, but then you’d miss out on such gems like the upbeat rhythms of poop and farts coming out of a giant poop monster.

Wasn't even kidding about it being a poop monster.

Wasn’t even kidding about it being a poop monster.

Final Reaction

I loved the first AVGN game and the 2nd is a huge improvement over its predecessor, from the challenge of a good old school platformer to the gloating victory messages when you beat each level:

Yes I died 11 times on that level, what of it?

Yes I died 11 times on that level, what of it?

So if you’re looking for a fun, albeit short old school platformer with a lot of challenge built into it, or you just need a drinking game where everyone takes a shot where by the end of the first 2 levels everyone is trashed out of their minds, take that $15 you would’ve spent on something worthless and pick this one up for your library of awesome games! You definitely wont regret it!

Probably.

Maybe.

Rating: 4/5 Atoms

NR 4 Atoms - B

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Jaymes Romero
Jaymes Romero 239 posts

What do you say to describe a guy who only sleeps 4 days out of the week? Probably a lot but if you ever see an obscure story about some kind of food product, indie game or something that doesn't quite fit on this site, you can (almost) guarantee this guy wrote it. Whether or not he was awake while it was written is anybody's guess.