Christmas Movie Drinking Guide

It’s that time of year again, when your wallet cries as you spend everything you’ve earned in the past few weeks on gifts for relatives who annoy you to the point where you need a stiff drink just to keep your sanity intact. Well, I’m not much of a “gift” guy so much as a “gift card” guy, but I do know a thing or two about celebrating the holidays with some liquor to warm the blood and Xmas movies to warm the heart. Here’s your Holiday Christmas Drinking Guide! Oh, and for those who celebrate different holidays this time of year, just replace Christmas with whatever it is that you celebrate.

11159941_detA Christmas Story
Recommended Drink: Spiked Eggnog
Price Range: $5 – $65

Ah, the classic that everyone tells you about in full detail if you’ve never seen it. TNT, TBS and every other station I can think of love to run this movie in 24-hour marathons. Which means if you’re like me, you probably end up catching it halfway through then end up watching it in full, giving you a 1.5x experience of Christmas joy. So what better experience to go with such a classic than with a classic yuletide drink such as Spiked Eggnog? It’s super simple to make:

Step 1: Get Eggnog
Step 2: Get Rum, Brandy, and/or Bourbon
Step 3: Mix it
Step 4: Drink it

Simple huh? One good drinking game that can go along with this is to take a shot or swig whenever Ralphie narrates. You’ll sure to be laughing and drunk by the time the pink bunny suit arrives.

HomeAlone1y2Home Alone 1 and 2
Recommended Drink: Whiskey
Price Range: $3-$50

Now here’s a duo of movies that you can drink to during the holidays! It’s got everything that reminds you it’s the holidays; annoying family, arguments, rushing to the airport (only now you have to arrive 3 hours early to get molested by TSA slugs and blasted by radiation) and of course, that one family member who gets shafted. So of course what better drink to go along with drudging through family bickering than good ol’ whiskey? It’s the drink of choice apparently for most adults and is a great mainstay in drinking away Christmas annoyances.

die-hard-movie-poster-1988Die Hard
Recommended Drink: White Russian
Price Range: $25-$50

Now before anyone says anything; Die Hard is a Christmas movie, deal with it. And since the bad guys in the movie are German, or at least that’s what I’ve been led to believe given their names, what better drink to go with this film than a White Russian? The how-to is as follows in the most common recipes:

  • 5 parts vodka
  • 2 parts coffee liqueur
  • 3 parts cream

Some people use milk instead of cream but that’s up to you. Now drink up and take a shot every time McClane hurts himself. You’ll be stone drunk pretty quickly. On a side note, if you don’t feel like making the drink, you can do the lazy man’s route by chasing a shot of vodka with a shot of smooth and sweet coffee.

nostalgia posterNostalgia Blitz Run: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Charlie Brown Christmas and How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Recommended Drink: Peppermint Schnapps
Price Range: $4 – $30

Now it doesn’t have to be these specific movies but these are the 3 most common kids classics when it comes to Christmas movies. And what better drink to drown your childhood in than the minty afterburn of Peppermint Schnapps? The purpose of this Blitz Run, however, is to watch and drink these movies down back to back, so it’s a pretty good guarantee that you’ll be nice and toasty by the time all these films finish.

Well, that’s it for this guide! Drink well and have an awesome Christmas or whatever it is you celebrate!

Disclaimer: Obvious “Don’t Drink unless you’re of age” statement. And don’t be retarded by driving around after you drink. That’s what Designated Drivers, Couches, and Taxis are for. Also know your limits and know when to stop drinking. No one wants to spend the rest of the month and the next year having to explain to friends and loved ones why you were too dumb to stop drinking. The fact I have to even write this means there are too many stupid people already doing all of the above, so don’t be a statistic. 

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Jaymes Romero
Jaymes Romero 239 posts

What do you say to describe a guy who only sleeps 4 days out of the week? Probably a lot but if you ever see an obscure story about some kind of food product, indie game or something that doesn't quite fit on this site, you can (almost) guarantee this guy wrote it. Whether or not he was awake while it was written is anybody's guess.