Mario is going for change. I don’t even know if Mario is rescuing Peach in New Super Mario Bros. 2, but if that’s his objective, he sure is taking his sweet time. What kind of illicit goods would cause him to forgo saving the princess? Mushrooms? Mario, you have to stop! We all love and care for you too much for you to go down this pipe!

Ryan Southard

Ryan Southard is a video game enthusiast, dissecting games down to their tiniest details. Whether it’s new or it’s old, as long as it’s awesome, he’ll play it. Follow him on Twitter at @Ryan_Southard

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