After the success of the Dave Chepelle Show, I could have sworn we had all learned a good lesson about how “keeping it real” can go wrong. It goes really wrong here, as the president of Ocean Marketing, Paul Christoforo, not only insulted a customer, but Mike Krahulik as well. You know, the ARTIST of PENNY ARCADE!
UPDATE: Seeing as how the Avenger controller company only hired Paul to do their PR, we should probably not punish them too harshly for their poor judgement. A few hundred people gave their controllers 1-star reviews on Amazon, but this hatred is a bit misdirected.
UPDATE: In addition to verbally abusing anyone and everyone, thinking he can step on people because he can get away with it, Paul is a plagiarist, so we shouldn’t feel too bad for him.
Paul Christoforo is the president of Ocean Marketing, the PR company currently representing the Avenger Controller series that lets players press a lot of buttons without moving their thumbs from the analog sticks. I don’t know how well this peripheral works, and I don’t really care. All I know is that I might receive a bit of extra Christmas joy to know that a real jerk like this doesn’t have a job anymore.
A customer named Dave becomes frustrated as he gets a lack of updates regarding his new peripheral, the shipment date is changed several times, and Dave pretty much has to babysit the company in order to receive his product.
Here are a few excerpts:
Paul Christoforo of Ocean Marketing (to be referred to as Paul from here on)
To: Dave, a customer
“You placed a pre order just like any software title the gets a date moved due to the tweaks and bugs not being worked out and GameStop or any other place holds your cash and im sure you don’t complain to activision or epic games so put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else.”
“Welcome to the Internet ? Son Im 38 I wwebsite as on the internet when you were a sperm in your daddys balls and before it was the internet, thanks for the welcome to message wurd up.”
The stench of arrogance in this message from Paul to Penny Arcade’s artist, Mike Krahulik, is enough to kill a legion of cows:
“OK Mike whatever you say lol , are you sure hour not in Boston I spoke to the person who ran the show in Boston last year. If you let some little kid influence you over a pre order then we don’t want to be a your show ,Ill be on the floor anyway so come find me , I’m born and raised in Boston I know the people who run the city inside and out watch the way you talk to people you never know who they know it’s a small industry and everyone knows everyone. Your acting like a douchbag not that it matters pax east pax west , e3 , CES , Gamer Con , SSXW ,Comic Con, Germany I’m all over the place. If we want to be there we will be there with industry badges or with a booth you think I can’t team up with turtle beach , Callibur or Koy Christmas , I can’t get Kevin Kelly to pull some strings or G4 , Paul Eibler Ex CEO of take 2 , Rich Larocco Konami , Cliff Blizinski Epic who were working with on a gears version , Activision who were working with on a MW3 and Spider man Bundle , The Convention Center Owners themselves , Mayor of Boston come on Bud you run a show that’s all you do and lease a center in Cities you have no pull in its all about who you know not what you do. I’ll see space where ever I want , with who I want when I want and where I want so many ways around you and so many connections in this industry its silly. Anyway , I have no issue with you Sean Buckley Engadget, Scott Lowe IGN and the list goes on and on. Little kids unhappy with a PRE ORDER starting trouble and you email that to us , he’s a customer unless you’re his boyfriend then you should side with the company not the customer. Be Careful”
“Your spamming me you’re not on a mailing list you idiot ! You sent me an email remember . Make sure you stir up a lot of controversy about us the more the better we needed some drama gets good blood flow going about the new product launch . Your sites amateur at best my son could put together a better site than yours and you run PAX ?? Wow , Ill put my marketing team on a smear campaign of you and your site and your emails , I have about 125 dedicated people to run PR , Blogs , Articles , Videos you have no clue who I am . Thanks again”
Paul also does some name-dropping to Dave, cuz he’s the shizzle mac drizzle of the internetz.
“LOL Thanks for the Free PR I know the Editor N Chief of Kotaku , IGN , Engadget I’ll be meeting them at CES.”
and what does Brian Crecente, the Editor in Chief of Kotaku, have to say about this?
You know, I think we can all participate in a fun new game today. I’ll call it, “Who’s tweeting about Paul now?” Yes, go to twitter and find out what people are saying about Paul Christoforo @OceanMarketting. Don’t forget that extra “T” in there, guys. It’ll probably become the new way to spell “marketing”, if Paul has his say.
You can reach out to Paul with any problems you have via the various contact info below. If you’re feeling lonely, you have a tummy ache, or there are creepy shadows outside of your window. Basically, do whatever you want to make Paul feel miserable. Just don’t physically harm him. We need him to understand what a top-tier douche he is. Also, liability.
All of this information is publicly available. So, public, here’s your information:
Here’s Paul Christoforo’s Myspace page.
Twitter: @OceanMarketting (UPDATE: This Twitter account has been taken by another user and is being used to promote indie games and other such things. Paul now uses the account, “OceanStratagy”. Don’t forget the “A”.)
Ocean Marketing’s Facebook page
If you’d like to see the entire downward spiral of Ocean Marketing Inc., please head on over to Penny Arcade.
As proof that this isn’t a one-time thing, here’s another, albeit less interesting, incident. In other words, Paul is a professional. A professional “what”, I’ll leave to you.
UPDATE: It’s only been a few hours or so, but memes are already popping up. Internet, I love you.