I knew a guy in college who, at one point, was dancing and singing down the hallways dressed like Tarzan with a boombox slung over his shoulder (true story). Whether or not you want to be like this guy, the point is that walking to your next class is a boring affair. So, why not spice things up a little? How about a lot? ThinkGeek.com has put out a messenger bag with a rock concert attached to it, so let’s see how it fairs.

Spinal Tap would be proud

Whether for your amusement, or as an homage to the great Spinal Tap, this bag does indeed literally go to eleven. While it could eventually be drowned out by a loud television setup, and it doesn’t quite compare to an actual guitar amp, for the small power it requires (4 AAA batteries), this thing is actually really loud. You won’t have to worry about whether or not you can hear it – you totally can.

How hard does it rock?

It does, and maybe a little too much. What I mean is that this thing sprays out power chords with the grace of a drunken rocker at the end of his nose-dived career: you cannot stop the power chords from ringing out.

You cannot play in a staccato style. Every time you strum the guitar, the chord will ring out and fade. You can play quickly, and each new chord you play will cancel out the previous one. With a little practice, I was able to play a slower version of Metallica’s “Master of Puppets”, so the guitar is at least somewhat competent compared to the real thing. Just take note that this bag only plays power chords, so save your solo chops for the real rock show.

As for the sound, well, it does sound like a real guitar. There is also a “tone” nob, which adjusts the treble.

You can easily, lightly strum your finger back and forth over the “pickups”, though it may take some practice for you to be able to get every strum to register. I was actually surprised at how lightly it could be strummed.

I like how they decided to include an output for headphones. So, while I can’t guarantee that people won’t stare at you as you head bang while walking, at least you can have a bit of privacy regarding what you’re playing.

As for the neck of the guitar, simply holding down one section of it with one finger will create a power chord. If you happen to be holding down two different chords, the musically lower one will be the one that registers. There is a total of one octave on the neck, ranging from a normal open “E” power chord to the next, higher “E” power chord.

The bag itself actually gets in the way of you playing the guitar. I found that holding the bag up to my chest helped out. Interestingly, the “guitar” can be pulled away (a few inches) from the bag (it’s attached via velcro) to give you a bit more playing comfort, though you’ll be holding a long flat guitar neck, which is not quite as easy to hold as a real guitar.

Wait, this is a bag we’re talking about, right?

Oh, right, I almost forgot that this guitar thing was attached to a bag. The bag itself is made of a sturdy canvas material with “faux leather accents”. The should strap itself is in the style of a real guitar strap. The thing is so solid that it puts my $50 Swissgear bag to shame. My Swissgear bag’s strap broke in a matter of a few months, but I can already tell that the Electronic Guitar Bag’s strap is going to fair much better.

As for the pockets, there are two semi-large ones, a large one, four small ones (calculator sized), and two tiny ones (for pens etc.), and another small one that has a zipper. The bag’s flap that covers everything has two magnetic buttons to keep it shut.

The largest pocket has, inside it, the small pocket with a zipper. This is an unfortunate design choice, because that zipper is going to be scratching against your laptop, or whatever else, should you choose to place it there. I guess if you don’t mind the bottom of your laptop getting a few small scratches on it, this won’t be a problem. This large pocket can store a fairly large 17″ laptop and anything smaller. For regular books and notebooks, there shouldn’t be much of a problem with the zipper.

If that zipper is going to be a problem for you, the semi-large pocket on the inside can fit a 15″ laptop, though it’s a bit of a snug fit.

There’s also a small handle on the top of the bag, but I wouldn’t recommend it for regular use. In other words, use the large strap to carry around the bag, unless you want to risk your bag dropping because of a ripped handle.

To Rock, or Not to Rock

Considering that this bag is on sale over at ThinkGeek for $14.99, I would definitely recommend rocking this bag. My only two significant gripes with the bag are the scratch-causing zipper pouch and the weak small handle on the top. However, if you’re going to pretend you’re a rock star, you might as well act like one, so just cut that pouch off. The Electronic Guitar Bag isn’t nearly as good as a real guitar, but really, you didn’t expect that, did you? It does what it’s supposed to do: let you rock out down the hallway, or anywhere your real guitar isn’t.

Head on over to ThinkGeek and get the Electronic Guitar Bag, you won’t regret it.

Grade: -A

The ThinkGeek Electronic Guitar Bag was originally released on August 28th at $49.99. It can currently be found on the official site and Amazon.com for $14.99.