Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review by John Spartan

I loved the first Transformers movie and hated Revenge of the Fallen. With Dark of the Moon, I was hoping for a movie that I can enjoy like I did the first one. The mission objective is more clear and the story less convoluted, but what we still have are the Autobots being underused, more comic relief that doesn’t help advance the plot, and the Decepticons getting their asses handed to them by humans. Beware of spoilers.

The plot of the movie is the same as the previous ones, where the humans and Autobots have to secure an area and stop a “device of doom” from being activated. The rest of the story is Sam trying to find a job, meeting many different comic-relief characters including John Malkovich, Ken Jeong, Alan Tudyk and John Turturro. John Malkovich playing Sam’s boss adds nothing to the movie, other than to let us know that the color red is bad (yet he has a photo of himself wearing a red karate uniform). I’m guilty of enjoying these comic-relief scenes, but I do wish that these scenes would get the axe so that we have more screentime with characters we should be giving a damn about, like the Autobots. I want to know more about Wheeljack, the Wreckers, and more dialogue from Ironhide and Ratchet. What I need is less of the Autobot rejects, Wheeljack and Brain.

I love action, but action with no emotional attachment leads to me not caring. When I see new Autobot characters being introduced and then getting killed off later, I didn’t care. When Ironhide got killed by Sentinel Prime, I didn’t care. The thing is, I should care. Ironhide is one of the central characters in the Transformers universe, and the way they portrayed his death in the movie was very anti-climactic. Even Optimus didn’t care.

Another problem with the action was that the main baddies were useless. Soundwave, Shockwave, Starscream, and Megatron were all little bitches. Remember how cool Blackout, Megatron and Starscream were in Transformers 1? Blackout blew up an entire U.S. military base, and Starscream took out F22s like nothing. Megatron was something to be feared as he escaped his Hoover Dam prison and nearly took out Optimus. In Dark of the Moon, Soundwave gets blasted, Shockwave is nothing without his Worm thingy, Megatron gets his head ripped off easily, and Starscream gets punked by a kid with a grappling hook and a grenade to the eye. Also, Megatron gets outwitted by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Come on Megatron, think!

For a movie that focuses less on story and more on action, I expected some mind-blowing action sequences, but sadly, I left the theater feeling disappointed. Here’s hoping there will be a reboot with the next director being able to pull an awesome Transformers movie with Autobots you care about.

Grade: D

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John Nguyen
John Nguyen 10427 posts

Assassin, scoundrel, head honcho.