Exclusive Info on God’s New 3DS Fighting Game, ‘Deceased Fighter 2’

Jose Salazar of Jalisco, Mexico was sitting in church playing Street Fighter IV on his brand new 3DS when something really strange happened. A picture of the Virgin Mary appeared on his screen. Apparently upset that Jose was paying more attention to Capcom’s new hit game than the sermon, God spoke through the 3DS, commanding Jose to play his new fighting game that he called “Deceased Fighter 2”.

Deceased Fighter has become an over-night success, spurring 3DS sales into the hundreds of thousands. Each 3DS bought in Jalisco gets a single deceased fighter to be used in God’s new video game. So far the following fighters have been found: Jesus, Virgin Mary, Freddie Mercury, Eddie Guerrero, and Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln is by far the most under-played, with many 3DS owners taking their systems back as “defective” if he appears. Several hundred 3DS owners got a message from God recently commanding them to “…stop praying for Hulk Hogan to die so that he can become a playable character. The Hulkster has a lot of years left in him.”

The characters’ winning phrases we’ve heard of so far are:

Jesus: “Don’t cross me”, and “How can you defeat that which can resurrect itself?”
Abraham Lincoln: “I kick all asses equally”
Virgin Mary: “It was an immaculate triumph”

Capcom got into contact with God, asking if he wanted to do a Street Fighter/Deceased Fighter cross-over, but God turned him down saying that he was going to team up with Satan to create the best fighting game cross-over anyone’s ever seen.

Source: Demonstrating Understanding Practically Every Day

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Ryan Southard
Ryan Southard 776 posts

Ryan Southard is a video game enthusiast, dissecting games down to their tiniest details. Whether it's new or it's old, as long as it's awesome, he'll play it. Follow him on Twitter at @Ryan_Southard <a href="http://nerdreactor.com/about/">Meet the Nerd Reactor Team</a>